My Two Cents

I just posted my first, well, post, as a co-blogger on a friend's site, Expressio Unius. Since my links bar is still not working, I'll plug his blog here by saying wt's posts are intelligent, witty, and usually related to current events you should probably know about anyways, so visit often!

Now, since I'm already hurting for sleep, I just figured, hell, I might as well update my own blog while I'm here. So here's something I came across at work today, source unknown, which will be especially amusing to other educators:

No Child Left Behind-- Football Version

1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions. Coaches will be held accountable.
2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.
3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren’t interest in football, have limited athletic ability, or whose parents don’t like football.
4. Games will be played year-round, but statistics will only be kept in 4th, 8th, and 11th games.
5. This will create a New Age of sports in which every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals.

If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.