My Two Cents

(Sorry for the prolonged absence...it’s been a busy week for me and a slow week for the news. At least, the kind of news I can poke fun at. My apologies.)

While I’m not at all condoning a 911 dispatch operator’s recent dismissal of a young boy’s very real plea for help, I’m sure the emergency number gets its fair share of pranks. I just ran across this article from the Pittsburgh Tribune Review, describing a caller’s request for assistance regarding a squirrel...in a tree.

"What's the problem?"

"I have a large tree in my backyard ... there's a squirrel stuck in the tree."

"Ma'am, this is a squirrel? In a tree? What's the problem?"

"It's been there for about an hour. It's crying; it needs help. There's a problem."

"Ma'am, sorry, but this isn't necessarily a police issue. It's a wild animal, sitting in a tree. It's supposed to be doing that. The squirrel will be OK. It'll climb down when it's ready."

"Are you telling me you're not sending me an officer?"

"Sorry ma'am, this isn't a police issue. An officer wouldn't be able to do anything. The squirrel will be just fine, really."

"But police officers help people in need right?"

"Yes, ma'am. Squirrels are not people."

"Well, never mind, anyway. You've spent so much time explaining why an officer won't help me, the squirrel left. Thanks."

Now I will take this opportunity to include an adorable picture of Finnegan the squirrel napping with his adoptive Papillon family:


Anyways, the article even mentioned a new trend in “butt calls,” which are calls inadvertently placed when a person sits on their cell phone. I checked the Urban Dictionary, and yes, “butt calls” is a verifiable phrase.

And stupid is as stupid does: some individuals actually “want to talk with police because they were sold fake crack cocaine.”